Ode, Updated
Wednesday, June 18th, 2008Today has been a very lousy day - one of those steady progressions from wanting to pull one’s hair out, to wanting to put one’s hand through a wall, to deciding killing two birds with one stone is better and just wanting to put one’s head through a wall. Though my office walls are yet undamaged, due to steady exercise of self-control and some well-timed water breaks, the emotional scars remain.
Long-time readers of this blog may recall this. I now offer the following update.
It all started yesterday - a day of promise and potential, for it was Download Day. And I downloaded, marveling at the 15,000 bug fixes in Firefox 3 and rejoicing at reports of its infinitesimal memory footprint. After downloading comes installing, and after installing comes that magical checkbox which says, “Launch Firefox 3.”
I attempted launch, and waited. I wasn’t happy with the error box that came up and told me Firefox had crashed. (One is given to wonder how something can “crash” before it even launches, but such semantics do not portray the depth of my present emotional grief.) But alas, at mid-afternoon yesterday I did not have time to fix it, so I simply tryed uninstalling and reinstalling and deleting and redownloading a few times, all with a remarkable lack of success.
This morning I foolishly assumed that I could use IE and survive. I was wrong. Even I, adamant Firefox fan though I am, had forgotten the depth of the slowness and horribleness of that terrible program. I had indeed forgotten that it destroys the formatting of things like the Weekly Reminder. In desperation I tried everything I could think of to fix Firefox’s fatal flaws–and failed. I edited program files. I read web help forums. I tried to find a place to re-download Firefox 2. I tried changing profiles and user info. I even found out what a “command line argument” is. Nothing worked.
So I did what any sane person would do: I downloaded Opera. It is quantum leaps faster and more secure than IE, I will give it that. It has some helpful features. But Firefox it is not, and in spite of my best efforts to make it all work, Opera simply does not cut it. It lacks features I rely on.
So at this point I know not what to do. My laptop got me through today, but I still have no Firefox at work. In my depth of futile anguish, iambic pentameter is my only solace…
Of IE I tried just a bit,
To see if its code just might fit,
But no, it did not.
My attempt just begot
The frustration that comes from the pit.
So Opera next garnered my gaze,
An improvement, it seems, anyways.
But features it lacked,
(And it’s background was blacked)
So short was this one browser’s phase.
I’m a one-browser man, it is true.
And yet, I know not what to do!
For the Firefox dream,
Has gone up in the steam,
Bringing tomorrow’s frustration anew.








